"Avoid R talk" includes avoiding R talks when the WAS initiates them (unless they are aimed towards reconciliation or working not the MR which is clearly not the case here).
You don't have to sit and get repeatedly gut-punched in the name of validation. I think a general strategy if she speaks in this way would be validate ("I understand that's how you feel") and then exit gracefully (harder than it sounds, I know).
I also wonder how best to validate when confronted with a direct question.
Are you still holding onto hope? Do you still have feelings for me? What do you want?
