I think you are in a good position to turn this around. Your sitch does not sound that bad right now (compared to most other people's sitch).
Your wife is still at home, there is no affair / AP, and for the most part she still talks / interacts with you. I think you just need to back off, and make some self improvement / changes before you push her away further.
Have you ever been annoyed at someone where they got under your skin? Once you see them in that light, there is nothing they say or can do to appease you at that point. The more interaction, the more it reiterates the negative thoughts. That's where a lot of WAS are mentally.
