You know what I am angry. He gets promoted, pays me peanuts while he's out having fun with OW. This isn't okay with me. Now maybe I'd made a difference decision if I could support myself but I can't so here I am.....
I really like this post. You sound angry, not desperate/depressed, which is a huge step in the right direction. Now, if you can get to the point where you just to give a flying rat's f@rt about what he does, you'll be golden.
Last edited by job; 12/06/1910:17 PM. Reason: edited language
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
You know what I am angry. He gets promoted, pays me peanuts while he's out having fun with OW. This isn't okay with me. Now maybe I'd made a difference decision if I could support myself but I can't so here I am.....
I really like this post. You sound angry, not desperate/depressed, which is a huge step in the right direction. Now, if you can get to the point where you just to give a flying rat's f@rt about what he does, you'll be golden.
This is a DB site and as such I feel like I need to justify my decision to D or I don't want to offend those who stand. I wrote this book but by the time I got to the end I decided to stand by the choice I'd made.. Considered deleting the whole thing and just leaving the end but it was late and I just left it.
I knew I wanted a D the day I sent that text to my attorney.
Last edited by job; 12/06/1910:17 PM. Reason: edited language
Want probably isn’t the right word. I don’t think anyone here wants a D. From what I’ve read it’s not uncommon for the LBS to file after they’re done with limbo. There is this line in the sand and it’s different for everyone. For me it was a combination of finances and the OW. I thought he was an honorable man and to find out he isn’t that person anymore means well to quote AS there isn’t anything to stand for now. My marriage is over. I can either prolong my pain by holding out hope that the man I married will come back or I can walk away with my dignity in tact.
I’m still worried I won’t move on until I’m in another relationship but I’m trying to have faith that I will be ok on my own.
I am at peace with my decision to go through with the D.
You are the only that can determine when you've had enough and need to file. You have a necessary need to file because of the financial situation. As for the ow, she's nothing more than a band aid to his issues. I do understand how you feel about the ow and what your h has and is continuing to do.
When making decisions, please make those decisions from a place of calm and not when you are angry and/or hurt. It is important that you now look at this relationship as a business deal that has soured.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You are the only that can determine when you've had enough and need to file. You have a necessary need to file because of the financial situation. As for the ow, she's nothing more than a band aid to his issues. I do understand how you feel about the ow and what your h has and is continuing to do.
When making decisions, please make those decisions from a place of calm and not when you are angry and/or hurt. It is important that you now look at this relationship as a business deal that has soured.
Job,
Thank you so much for this. I'm always happy when veterans post on my thread.
You're right I was going to have to file regardless of the OW. She was just a straw. Saturday I got the 2nd check from WAH confirming that he wasn't going to increase support like he said he would. Monday I find out about the OW. I wasn't completely surprised by either of these events. Tuesday morning in total calmness I made the decision to D him. On Wednesday I found about the promotion.
I can't look at this as a business deal but my attorney can.
Married 28 years, 3 teenagers, H moved out 8 months ago
I filed for D three weeks ago because he's isn't paying me enough support and I found out there is OW. I don't talk to him anymore and haven't heard from my attorney yet so I don't know where I am in this process. I live in a true fault state so I had to file with grounds (adultery). If I don't have grounds he doesn't have to give me a D until he's ready to do so. We have a no fault D in my state but both spouses have to agree to it. If his attorney is smart she'd tell him to wait me out but with grounds he can't. Its super easy to stall all you have to do is say "I don't want a D". Stalling is in his best interest because in 2 years S19 will be 21 and age out of CS.
Back soon - I have questions but I need to get some work done first.
Last edited by job; 12/09/1911:05 PM. Reason: Merged two threads together.
If I wanted some sort of needy reassurance about post divorce dating/relationships would I ask here or or the other board? It's part of my processing of accepting it's over. I want to to talk about this.
If I wanted some sort of needy reassurance about post divorce dating/relationships would I ask here or or the other board? It's part of my processing of accepting it's over. I want to to talk about this.
We can give you our experiences/opinions here if you want. What ever you need.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
When last I posted a Tinder or eHarmony profile, I had more matches than I could handle. The big boosts come from having a life, not being obese (women), and not being short (men). My two best long-term connections didn't come from online dating, but rather from people I met doing things I loved.
