Thanks for sharing what you went through at BD. That you didn't succumb to your thoughts about the meds is a reflection of what a strong woman you are.
With all that you've said about what you've become, and what H has devolved into, it seems like you're leaving him in your tyre smoke, and I'll echo the vets in saying your progress is just fantastic.
Now, smash those carols with your son, and make sure you get him a cute xmas themed onesie (short sleeved of course as the heat now is melting!)
Cheers, DS
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24