Something is up. Not sure if she was with OM but it sounds pretty clear she was lying about where she was going. I think the bottom line here is that like many WAS's, she already considers you divorced except for some pesky legal document filed somewhere. So she's doing what she wants to do, and doesn't feel obliged to tell you what it is. This is very typical behavior with waywards. You don't really have enough evidence to confront her. If you do confront her she's going to gaslight you until you're questioning your own sanity. So I wouldn't confront. If you really need to know then hire a PI and get it over with. The "not knowing" was driving me crazy in my sitch until I finally said to myself that I would just assume the worst and proceed accordingly. So I just assumed she was having an A, and the interesting thing was that after that, I no longer cared about the texting in the bathroom and the falling asleep with her phone in her hand and the mysterious times she went missing with no explanation. That for me was the beginning of detachment.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
And if and when you do confront her, there is no need for lengthy explanations. Short and simple. There is nothing that has more impact than a brief statement such as "I know what you are doing and it is unacceptable." Queue the gaslighting. "What? I'm not doing anything, you're paranoid. What is this "evidence" that you think you have? Maybe you're the one having an affair! I bet you're doing this to try and cover your own guilt!" Don't fall for it. "I don't need to explain, I know, and there's nothing more to say." Then walk out of the room.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
