This may not help but one thing I stopped doing is thinking of things as positive or negative. I just became more aware of how I was thinking about things, how it was affecting my mood, how I wanted to feel instead, but also not trying so hard to change it. The changes became easier. Sorry if that sounds kinda Zen
Excellent job on some goal setting. And I totally agree that measurable defined goals are the way to go. And when you can measure your success, you’ll feel so good and proud of yourself.
If you have health insurance, you psychiatric treatment should be covered. I think it’s really really important for you in conjunction with your support group.
Keeping yourself busy is really important. I’d really urge you to do one volunteer activity sign yourself up for something local. Give back. You’ll be shocked at what it does for your mental health.
How would you do this for self improvement activities like being more positive?
Examples: 1) Keep journal; write down three things each day that I am thankful for. Where appropriate/possible, tel express your thanks to the people involved 2) Give unsolicited compliments to at least two people every day. 3) Every evening, set at least one achievable positive goal for the next day (positive meaning you actively DO something, not that you merely refrain from something) 4) In your journal, write down at least one thing you like about yourself each day.
Etc
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
^^^ Great examples from Jim, just "being more positive" isn't a measurable goal. But Jim gives specific steps you can follow to achieve that goal. Write these and/or others down and at the end of the day go through and check them off and celebrate your accomplishments.
Some of Jim's suggestions echo things Steve has been recommending to you for weeks/ months. Focus on the good things in your life! I know it's not easy when you are going through this, but that's what GAL is all about. It's hard to do at first, but with time it gets easier and more enjoyable.
This may not help but one thing I stopped doing is thinking of things as positive or negative. I just became more aware of how I was thinking about things, how it was affecting my mood, how I wanted to feel instead, but also not trying so hard to change it. The changes became easier. Sorry if that sounds kinda Zen
I was doing this before this latest BD. I was mindful of my mood so when I was down I'd catch it before I bottomed out and I'd do something to feel better. On the flip side when I felt good I noticed that too so I could add that to my tool of tricks to improve my mood.
Once my mood dropped. I caught it early and went to go talk to a coworker to get out of my head. It worked.
If you have health insurance, you psychiatric treatment should be covered. I think it’s really really important for you in conjunction with your support group.
I have great insurance but I still have a copay. Right now every penny counts until I get more support and find out what WAH's next move is. I've saved up $7k plus paid a $2k retainer for legal fees but he makes a lot more money than me. I'm a 53 year old former homemaker so the rest of my life is at stake. I saved every penny he gave me while he was paying my bills but now I'm on my own. I think I've saved plenty but better safe than sorry so I chose the support group over psychiatric treatment. Shouldn't even be doing that but for my sanity I will juggle it.
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Keeping yourself busy is really important. I’d really urge you to do one volunteer activity sign yourself up for something local. Give back. You’ll be shocked at what it does for your mental health.
Last night D17 was so quiet and when pushed she told me "I hate myself" this from the kid who used to be so happy and full of life. For now I need to be with her (and S19) as much as possible. The support group is once a week and I even feel guilty for that but I know I can't help them if I'm not okay.
Examples: 1) Keep journal; write down three things each day that I am thankful for. Where appropriate/possible, tel express your thanks to the people involved 2) Give unsolicited compliments to at least two people every day. 3) Every evening, set at least one achievable positive goal for the next day (positive meaning you actively DO something, not that you merely refrain from something) 4) In your journal, write down at least one thing you like about yourself each day.
Some of Jim's suggestions echo things Steve has been recommending to you for weeks/ months. Focus on the good things in your life! I know it's not easy when you are going through this, but that's what GAL is all about. It's hard to do at first, but with time it gets easier and more enjoyable.
I read everything as most of you know. One site talked about the process of change. It starts with motivation (or desperation) then thinking, processing, obsessing (rewiring the brain) then it moves onto action. These things take time. I get to a good place before bed then I wake up and have to start all over again. It isn't sticking (yet) but I can tell it's getting better.
Like today it's 10am and I've done absolutely nothing at work. By telling you this it's like now everyone here is holding me accountable. So goal for today. Get off this board and report back at 4:45pm. By then if I stay focused I should be 90% caught up.
If you have health insurance, you psychiatric treatment should be covered. I think it’s really really important for you in conjunction with your support group.
I have great insurance but I still have a copay. Right now every penny counts until I get more support and find out what WAH's next move is. I've saved up $7k plus paid a $2k retainer for legal fees but he makes a lot more money than me. I'm a 53 year old former homemaker so the rest of my life is at stake. I saved every penny he gave me while he was paying my bills but now I'm on my own. I think I've saved plenty but better safe than sorry so I chose the support group over psychiatric treatment. Shouldn't even be doing that but for my sanity I will juggle it.
Quote
Keeping yourself busy is really important. I’d really urge you to do one volunteer activity sign yourself up for something local. Give back. You’ll be shocked at what it does for your mental health.
Last night D17 was so quiet and when pushed she told me "I hate myself" this from the kid who used to be so happy and full of life. For now I need to be with her (and S19) as much as possible. The support group is once a week and I even feel guilty for that but I know I can't help them if I'm not okay.
As for your D17. You going to your support group is not Going to change how she feels about herself. What will affect her is a role model who gets the help she needs, shows confidence and capability and doing what she needs to do to make herself a happy healthy person. You sitting at home with her wallowing isn’t going to make anything any better.
Take your D17 with you to volunteer . It’s a positive experience that will Make her feel good about herself.
You need to not take time Away from Your group because it takes away from D17. It is positive for her to see you helping yourself. Andy way you help yourself will have a positive impact on her. And including her in those efforts is what will help her
