Your h had been bubbling in his cauldron for quite some time before the bomb drop. The argument may have been over an iron, but honestly, the iron was just an excuse to have the argument. Having sex three times that particular week was his way of trying to reconnect and yes to "feel" that love that had gone numb within him.
Please do not take anything he says or does personally. He's a lost soul trying to find his way and to feel "alive" again. Depression tends to numb their souls and hearts, especially towards the one person that they vowed to love till death due us part.
Continue to focus on you and your child. Enjoy that Christmas tree because Christmas is a magical time of the year and anything is possible. It is also the time of new beginnings and a new year is around the corner. Scout, you are doing great and it's good to reflect, but don't stay in the past wondering and thinking the "what ifs". This journey that your h is on is one that you weren't invited to participate in. Trust me when I say this....if he was single or had been married to someone else, his crisis would have still happened. You didn't break him and you can't fix him. He has to dig deep within his soul and accept the things that he couldn't change as a young child. He needs to understand that he's not at fault for being emotionally stunted at an early age.
Continue as you have been and dig deeper for patience. You've got a great support team here and most likely IRL. He doesn't. Some day, he will have to run to catch up w/your emotional and spiritual growth. At that time, it will be up to you as to whether you want to reconcile or move on completely w/your life w/o him in it as a spouse.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
