Core, just catching up on your sitch. I tell the story of something in my sitch, and without getting too deep into it I will try to give cliff-notes.
I initiated BD on 12/23/17 by finding out (snooped on her computer) she was in an EA with a younger guy, 1200 miles away in another state. I confronted (this was her second EA, first one being in 2005). She immediately said she wanted to get a job, get an apartment and get a D. A couple days of moping and feeling sorry for myself (through Christmas) I finally remembered DBing and started DBing.
A couple of weeks later, we were watching TV on a Friday night. She went into the guest bathroom for 2 hours. My instinct was that she was texting with OM, and sending him nude photos. It took all of my willpower not sneak down the hall and look under the door (just typing that is humiliating).
A few weeks later, I found in the trash her online photo cloud, the pictures. Yep, nudes. Clearly taken for OM, sent and then deleted.
I tell that story to make two key points: 1) your instincts are usually right 2) the truth always seems to have a way of coming out. Confronting, not confronting, whatever, will not make this come about or prevent it from coming about. What I can warn you about is this: if you confront, she will do a lot more to cover her tracks. After I initiated BD, my W changed all of her passwords, PINs, and started signing out of apps (I found out the messages for her EA in Facebook messenger app on her PC, even though she was messaging with him on her phone.) Take AS's advice, do not confront until you have the evidence you need. Otherwise she will start jumping through hoops to hide things.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
