Is there hope?

[Core]

So when you got married did your vows say “in good times and bad” or did it say “when things get $hitty then you need to compete with OM”?

Good point!

Pay close attention to the posters names. LH19, AnotherStander, Steve85 are currently posting great advise. Sandi2 has been here forever and she passes out stellar advise. Coach and PuppyDogTails both got their marriages back on track and helped many others do the same. We all should aspire to behaves as these two did. AllenA and RobX saved their marriages. They both did it in completely different ways. Understand the difference in how these four did it. Curtis7 did an excellent job spelling out all his options.

Excellent, thank you R2C for continuing to provide support here. I've read about half so far and continuing on.

I hate to talk like the big tough guy but you need it right now. That is beta b!+ch behavior. She's cheating and rejecting you and you're thinking your repentance or gifts will change that? No. Your behavior got you here and it took a while. It is not going away overnight but you start making positive changes today.

This whole post was great. You and the others really got me head to a good place today. Nothing wrong with the direct approach. Helped me get through my job in good shape.

@Anotherstander
I agree with Steve85, this was gold.

I would also like to add that you stop discussing your situation w/people. Choose one or two close friends to talk to and do not discuss the situation w/anyone else. The more you talk to people, the harder it will be for her to return to the marriage, if she so desires to do so later on

That is a good point. Initially she had asked me not to tell anyone. Maybe she had this in her mind as well? Or perhaps she didn't want others to talk her away from her new fantasy.