Almost through all the material. Whats blocking me is everyone I've talked to in person says to kill her with kindness. Be the best husband and dad possible. Give gifts and repent. Compliment and build her confidence. I hear this from my counselor as well as someone who was on the brink of divorce themselves.
I hate to talk like the big tough guy but you need it right now. That is beta b!+ch behavior. She's cheating and rejecting you and you're thinking your repentance or gifts will change that? No. Your behavior got you here and it took a while. It is not going away overnight but you start making positive changes today.
If you have lost 7 pounds and you were light to begin with I'd advise setting up a health plan that involves sports, gym activity (weights), and eating lots of good foods.
DB should be from the head because of the heart. Is it tactics? Maybe. Obviously you had a relationship failure that brought you to this point so I think you, like all of us, are needing to learn new ways of having relationships. At some point in your life someone taught you how to have a relationship, can you tell me where you learned this?
Is buying a gift and killing her with kindness to make her come back to you tactics? Yes.
Do not confront OM. Even if you were 100 lbs heavier and pure muscle, is it worth going to jail over? Is it worth getting hurt over? Is it worth giving OM the satisfaction? No, no, no.
Be the man you want to be. Don't pursue someone who has betrayed you, who has no respect for you (at least at the moment). Be kind to her in a detached way, not in a pandering, pathetic, sucking up to her to win her back way that she will see right through.
Anxiety is nothing you can't control. I'm anxious about the AJ/Ruiz fight this weekend. So what. You're a good dude and everyone deals with some crap in their lives, it's how we deal with it that matters.
I hope R2C drops in and gives you some links to read on attraction, but it definitely doesn't work the way you think it does. You're going to need some growth there.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
