Hey Steve, Esther Perel talks a lot about the value of rituals to symbolize closing out a phase of life, like she had a couple rake dead leaves and burn the pile to symbolize getting rid of the dead pages of their R. Maybe a little cheesy but I wonder if you guys could plan something for that day-- even just planning to have a romantic evening together, dinner and a hotel or something else that you could look forward to that could turn the day from a negative into a positive? (Also, does she even remember that the 23rd was BD day?) I really appreciate your postings both on your own situation and all you have given to others, including your insight on my sitch-- just want to say thank you and I'm thinking of you!
Interesting idea. Though my W would have no idea that the 23rd is the anniversary of BD. At the time she would have seen it as "Liberation Day". And in her defense, I was a pretty crappy H on that day. My sitch was unique in that I caught the EA fairly early, and confronted, bringing about BD. I think had I not done that then she would have eventually BD'd me. and probably within weeks. In fact, in Dec. of 2016 (a year before BD) she said that she thought we should never have been married. I blew it off at the time, but I now look back and see how that was probably near the beginning of her becoming a WW and a WAW. The vets here and most other experts will tell you that the thought process started a long time prior, and sometimes up to 2 years before BD. I can certainly see the progression for her looking back. Maybe this year I should do something myself to "kill" the day moving forward. Thanks for the suggestion!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
