Well, how would you treat your teenager if you discovered an incessant path of lying?
Little kids are a whole lot easier to work with, so I couldn't go there.
However, the consequence for lying is that people no longer value the words that come out of their mouths. The person who figures this out has to deal with the trust issues that they created until their word finally has credibility.
While I agree that a spouse lying is a little different, it shouldn't be treated much differently. For one, are you actively trying to catch him in lies? That has to be the most underrated cheeseless tunnel on the planet. It puts you in the position of being the hunter and him in the position of being the hunted. And that would be a terrific reason for him to fear being honest.
The trick is to draw him into feeling comfortable being honest with you.
I'll admit that this was very tough for me. I ABHOR lies! The old me would have chomped my fish friend until there were a few bones from his skeleton. How in the world did I encourage his honesty when he knew full well I'd rip into him without pause?
It becomes a game of extreme patience. You must promise yourself that you won't be the one to dole out consequences. This is going to take time.
If this is a real problem between you right now, I don't think that having a boundary is the problem. It's how you deal with the problem to begin with. Why not share with us the reasons why he would feel the need to lie instead of be truthful with you?
We're here to help.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
