I’m not real familiar with your sitch so just chiming in to support you as it sounds like you’re doing it tough right now. Isn’t waking up in the middle of the night with churning thoughts just the worst.
If you haven’t got it I’ll suggest insight timer. Has some excellent sleep guided meditation.
Good luck buddy
Cheers DS
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24