My sitch bears some similarities to yours. 2 kids, H still in the house/MB, confirmed EA, etc. Have you read the DR book? You might not be at the "going dark" or LRT phase-- you may still be in the 180s as long as you are avoiding all pursuing behaviors. My coach advised treating him like a beloved houseguest-- nice, friendly, fun, but nothing that could be perceived as pressure or pursuing. Marathon not a sprint. GAL.
It seems on these boards that there are more specific recommendations for LBHs around regaining respect from your W that I can't really help with, but there are plenty of threads with info and you have the vets above on your side! I'm just a newbie too but hang in there!
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
