Living do you think maybe he is happy with the situation? I mean this usually is a complete nightmare scenario for the ones who are being BD'd but for the spouse they kind of have the best of both worlds. They have a spouse who is improving, hoping for R, likely walking on eggshells around them, hanging on any little thing they do and this gives them a feeling of control. They also have their single life they get to enjoy with very little consequences. Perfect world for them and nightmare for us.
With my husbands ego there is no doubt in my mind he’s enjoyed riding the fence. Now keep in mind, I share a lot more here than I do with him. But he has had the best of both worlds.
The part when he stops enjoying things is when he sees that his behavior is hurting me. Then it’s no fun at all. That’s when he decides he wants out.
Keep in mind, he was supposed to relocate in October for his job. The job offer was put on hold. He decided that he wanted to work on himself and our relationship. A few weeks ago the job called and told him they were ready for him. He told him he was no longer interested. His boss was shocked, he told his boss that he was staying to work on his marriage.
But even still he went out and attempted to have an full blown affair. It was still an affair he just wasn’t able to go all the way with her (long story).
So the question is, he had an out....why didn’t he take it? As early as 4 weeks ago he had an out and he refused it. Why? Then I call him out on missing money and now he wants a divorce. So my question was, if you knew you wanted a divorce, why didn’t you leave?
It’s all so crazy!
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
