]I really really believe you need some serious professional help. I urge you to seek it.
I've been in and out of therapy for 20 years. My therapist told me I don't need anymore therapy she said I needed a trauma support group. I've been going for 8 months now and is helping. I'm concerned about money so I've backed off a bit. I do not yet know how much support I'm going to get from WAH and presently it's not enough.
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What you are doing isn’t working. Clearly. So what are you going to do differently? What is one tiny little step you can make to improve your mentality?
I'm afraid to tell you because you will yell at me or something. I need to get off the internet. There I said it.
