Well, I don't watch TV or have streaming services. I have internet because I have to for work. The car note is high, but that's because we bought a car together before I ever thought she might bail, and I got stuck with it all. I haven't had time to save money to get a cheaper car because of all the cash outflow.
I've been a huge fan of personal finance for a long time, and I kept it together the whole process. I even quit smoking, which has helped a lot.
If I could afford everything without her help, I absolutely would tell her to shove it. I have a few bargaining chips for our support negotiation meeting coming up. Bottom line is she voluntarily stepped down, and without the child support, I'm just about maxed out. I've cut out unnecessary spending as much as I really can, and I'm now paying 100% for after school care. After the D finalized, my bills increased. It's literally just necessities...I have no extra memberships or anything, and she ended up not taking on any significant percentage of the debt (she ended up with about 3000 IRS debt, but I got stuck with another almost 20k in joint debt that she didn't take as part of the deal to get her freedom and give me primary custody).
Honestly...I wish I could tell her that. I can't move out of the area to get a better job (which would probably double my income, tbh) because of the geographical restrictions she requested, and my family is 1,200 miles away, so I don't have any backup. I already skip lunch breaks to make OT. It helps, but it's not quite enough to make everything happen yet.
Hmm, that is a precarious position for a guy to be in. I know I wouldn't do very well with that situation (needing my exW's support to make it). What if she were to die somehow and her support would be completely gone?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
What if she were to die somehow and her support would be completely gone?
Then the geographical restrictions wouldn't apply and I could move to an area with better pay/lower cost of living, or I could move closer to my family.
I can pretty much cover the necessities to survive, but adding child care and other related costs to the huge "two income cash outflow" that I got stuck with is where I'm stuck.
I agree with Steve about the child support. I have full custody of my kids and chose to receive no child support because it was something that would keep my tied to her. The less I have to deal with her, the better. Is it hard? Yes, but I make it work because in the long run, it's what is best for me and my kids...
If she's as toxic as you say, keep moving on and don't look back. Don't worry about the pictures or who she is with. The hard part is over. Now it's all about building the best life possible for blakmac and son...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Well, last Friday, she asked if I could keep our S. She was checking in to the mental hospital. As far as I know, she's still in there, and she won't be released until they think she's ok to be in public/alone unsupervised.
Well, last Friday, she asked if I could keep our S. She was checking in to the mental hospital. As far as I know, she's still in there, and she won't be released until they think she's ok to be in public/alone unsupervised.
I don't even know, man. lol
This isn't surprising. You had one of the more erratic WAWs I've seen. MTB was there, but his was having substance abuse issues. Usually if they act this erratically then it has to be chemically induced....either through substances or internal to their brain.
blackmac, congrats on coming through that crap storm intact!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
P.S. I'd also use this as an opportunity to petition the court for full custody.
Thought about it. Contacted the attorney, but haven't heard from them. Not sure what's going to happen. What I do know is that I can't just ask her or the hospital for info because HIPAA exists...and that's fine.
Since I already have primary custody, everyone may be slow to try to change anything (or just hesitant). I'd have to get info on what her diagnosis is and see if they consider her a threat to his safety...and they might. She's expressed that she has a really hard time handling him.
I should probably call the attorney's office again and try to figure out what's going on.
