MLC - I completely agree. This is why I'm pushing for changes. It has been confusing, because sometimes I feel like I'm not DB'ing or standing appropriately and question why I'm posting on a DB forum. But even if R is to happen, I think a D has to happen first (or at least the beginning of the process).
The reality is, this situation is not good or healthy for me. I'm pressing for D because there are no other workable options. The only other possibility is to have a legal separation, but I see the difference between legal separation and D as semantic. Perhaps I'm wrong.
I think I can still do this in a way that uses DB principles... validate, but assert my needs. It's a tricky balance but I'd like to try.
After she kept pressing me for a parenting schedule next month, I asked for 2 more days every 2 weeks. No response yet.
