I love Friends, I taped last nights show and haven't watch it yet. I'm glad THESE threads are continuing.
I can say I haven't been following too closely but do want to complimente you and Betsey as you are very articulate, put very good thoughts and feeligs into words. Something I have a hard time doing.
Quote: know that this was on the old season, but I want to make reference to the website that was linked up to our thread, the funny things that WASs have done. Let me state that I found almost none of them funny. I suppose whether you do or don’t would completely depend on your sense of humor and mood. Much like the fact that Jerry Springer can be humorous if you are in the mood for that type of crazy humor!! But I want to make sure that people realize this really isn’t DBing. DBing is finding the humor in your situation, yes…but calling the OW interesting names, referring to your former husband as those people were, putting stories about incest in what was supposedly a humorous thread…that stuff is just plain trash. And I am not saying that anyone here needs to take any blame or apologize if they found the thread to be humorous. I just want to say that humorous or not, it wasn’t DBing. It was bitter, angry people venting.
I went to that website and didn't find it very humorous either. I read a few and then had to leave. I found it hard to read and was a bit embarrassed about what people were putting there. I think the first one was I read was kind of funny, the guy that was considering reconcilation and the spouse asking that he move back home and him saying that'd he'd have to give up OW then..
I am really uncomfortable with the name calling of OP's also. I try not to do that, but I know I am guilty of doing it myself, when I am in a venting/ugly mood. Otherwise I just feel sad for the OP's. On the other hand I remember when I was growing up, I've been on the underdog's side, the one that nobody liked or the one that people picked on...I became very protective of that person and would stand up for them.
Regarding boundaries, I have a really hard time setting them with my H. Probably because of his selfish, pissy attitude when I do try to set them. So for now I will keep following these threads and maybe get to a point where I feel my time is just as important as his time and set those boundaries.
I do have a time issue, if I'm supposed to be somewhere at a certain time. I am there, early. In the office I used to work in a certain woman was always late, always. When she did come she brought food and ate it during the meeting. To me this is an attention getting move as they are not up to speed with the topics, etc. and everyone has to give a brief summary.
The funny thing is when I ask my H for a timeline, like when he's going to be home it's "I'll be there when I get there" Now me, I have to give him a very certain time and if I'm not back at or around that time I usually get a call asking where I am and why I'm not back yet. My H is also very inquisitive into my whereabouts, where I do not question his, for one thing I used to be pretty intune to where he was, what he was doing, he was pretty predictable or maybe it was just my intuition.
Since the A and since he's been back home I don't have that same intuitiveness on where he's going, what he's doing. Oh maybe I do, but now I don't question him or should I say I feel uncomfortable questioning my H on where he's been. I'd rather not know than be lied and at this point it's his own business.
