So Like ginger, I’m a busy single mom with a young one. I love OLD. It just makes things easier and faster
In the old days to find a pair of shoes I would have to go to tons of stores and hope they have my size and style. Now I can go on line type in my size and heel height and tons of choices come up. Sure I have to send some back. But it’s just so much easier. When you go to meet ups let’s say a hiking meet up - (never been but I have seen the groups walking around) they usually consist of a bunch of old women. You might see a few guys - but out of such a small group the only thing you can guarantee is that you both like hiking. And it’s awkward. And that’s because the only people that have time for that stuff is people who are retired, not working or have kids that are older or maybe younger people with no responsibilities (that usually won’t come back) . Not ideal matches. I don’t see why people think this works better for people whose time is a luxury- like ginger.
. At least with online dating you know that they are looking for some sort of meet up with the opposite sex. In a meetup or bar they might just be out with friends or cause they love hiking. And you get less of a pool and less of a chance. Personally, I have such limited time right now. I wouldn’t want to waste it doing things with strangers when what I really want is a relationship. I go hiking with my son instead.
There is no shame in saying I want a relationship either. I think a lot of us here recite the whole “you have to be ok by yourself before you can be happy with another”. Or you shouldn’t need someone to feel complete. Historically and from an evolutionary stand point- mans and women have partnered up. It’s natural to want to do so. And each partnership has its own set of dynamics that you can’t possibly prepare for. Wasting months or years on self reflection isn’t really healthy either. I would argue friends with benefits arrangements to meet our sexual needs while self reflecting is just as unhealthy.
Don - I get that as a female it’s best to be the one pursued. I think that’s the only way it works. The guy has to be attracted enough to pursue. But your advice to Ginger is geared forwards getting a guy like you. No offense - but ginger (and myself) don’t want avoidant guys that only want and appreciate women that are playing games. We both want guys that believe in love and marriage and relationships and they are definitely out there. You liked wild girl - who was a mess. Girls that play games like that are not great matches down the line. Which took you time to realize. They are usually more clingy, desperate, and manipulative- they just know the game. Or maybe guys that go for them have there own dysfunctions. Ginger needs a guy that’s just wise enough and healthy enough to appreciate her. That’s the problem. There’s a lot of messed up people and it’s hard to find someone at equal levels.
How refreshing to just meet someone where you can both just be vulnerable about what you want and who you are is better long time.
