You’re doing great girl. Enjoy the holidays with your little one, your family and friends, and leave H to his journey.
Perhaps the hardest lesson for me was that I couldn’t save my ex from himself. On the surface his new life looks great - hot young Asian wife (surfer trophy wife), a duplex at his favorite surf spot, plenty of money (even though he cries poor, our divorce settlement was very fair). His wife seems nice enough (not one of his affair partners, thank god). But I can see he hasn’t really outrun his demons, and several things have happened in the last few years to throw a wrench in his MLC fantasy of eternal youth (illnesses and death in the family, some serious medical issues himself). Still he’s possibly happier than he would have been if he’d stayed, and although my dating history in the last ten years has been - well - an adventure, I feel like every man I’ve dated validated me more than my ex did.
Also the shock of divorce launched me on a path of adventure - I learned to play the drums when he left (at 53), played for several years in a pop punk band, learned to play vibraphone and glockenspiel, toured with my best friend who is a professional singer songwriter - none of which would have happened if I’d stayed married.
Embrace your present and your future. Your ex may catch up - or he won’t . Just keep living your life.
