"TH", I've got to figure out how to put these quotes on here so I respond specifically to them. I have printed out Sandi's rules and have followed them but have always been in a cycle of going back to being affectionate with her. The thing is as long as I don't pressure her with R talk then she behaves very nicely. She is funny, we laugh together, she laughs at me, we laugh at each others snap chats etc.......... It would be so much easier to move on from her if she wasn't so nice. She is only mean when I am mean to her, making her feel shamed, or when she feels like I am manipulating her to make a choice. I know I have got to get out of that cycle. I did really well for two weeks and she was back in the master bedroom begging me to hold her because she claimed she misses me. Whatever that meant? I gave in to her wishes.
I do know one thing however about my wife. She does not like to be told what to do ever. If I can truly detach, meaning let her go, she will eventually run from this guy because he will put pressure on her to make a move. If she were to file for divorce or move out that would shock me. (But this whole situation is a shock to everyone that knows her) She truly wants me to do it but she can't be mean enough to make me do it. I have literally begged her to file and move out. she has done neither.
