Living in Limbo

[joejoe1]

BB,

I remember my W doing the same thing. She couldn't wait for me to leave the house. At first, I really think she enjoyed it, but every time I left, I left where I was going vague, and I left her seeing me smile, and I was dressed to impress and smelling good. She really acted like she couldn't care less at first. But one day she started asking where I was going and with who. And I would say, "I'm going to enjoy myself". And she would give some snide remark, "well I hope you do". I was never mean, rude, or nasty. I was confident in my answers.

I think from the time I started going out, by myself (GAL and Detaching) until she started asking questions was about a month (just giving me time for reference). One day I was searching about a year after recon, and I noticed my W was checking my number on online databases. She never told me, but while I was GAL she was wondering what I was doing. She was still talking to the OM at the time of her searches.

It takes time and patience. I could see the cracks starting to form, her wording started to change from, I'm done, too, I'm don't know what I want, too, using us and placing us both in activities together in the future. Before I started GAL and detach, she could see herself doing anything with me.

I also, remember I came home early one day and she wasn't ready, I walk upstairs and she was sitting on the couch with her laptop open, and it looked so strange. I checked it a few days later and she was on with the OM, she didn't erase her message, so basically told him, "oh he's here, I got to go".

Thru all that, I never gave him any energy in my life. I stop talking about him, I only started talking about me and my boys. I stop asking her. I was cool. I never asking open ended questions to her.

Instead of, "How was your morning?", I would say, just "good morning".
Same for, night time.

I would always start my comments off to her with what I wanted and needed and then ask if that collided with her plans or interrupted her day.

Example: I have plans this weekend on Saturday. Do you have plans on Saturday? If she said no. I would say, ok. If she said Yes, I would say what about Sunday?......

In Summary: I started to allow myself to love myself and respect myself, that allowed me to distance myself from my WW disrespectful behavior and actions. You have to be patient and understand that consistence is the key. It takes time and you WW has to feel/know she's losing you. It has to be real and not and act on your part, and put in the hardwork learn around here.

Onward and forward.