Do you believe she didn't hear you're sorry for cheating and willing to work hard on the marriage? If you've never told her those things before, perhaps it's worth telling her 1x? However, by now I suspect you'd told her many times. You're right--no point in saying the same things and expecting a different result.
PS - I'm saying these words to myself as much as I'm saying them to you. My ex said, "It's really hard to understand how you could <blah> <blah> <blah> and then expect me to <two requirements for reconciliation>" At that point, no more to say. She heard and rejected my terms.
