LH, I know that you aren’t bitter. And I hope that you get to that place where you want to get to that 3rd date. And some woman comes in to rock your world!
I went to the gym yesterday . I love that hour because I think of nothing else except not collapsing, lol. Breathing takes effort. But my endurance is already getting better and I can see my muscle definition coming back. Bought myself a healthy lunch, made a healthy dinner. Pretty much lazed around on my couch otherwise. I’m off today and tomorrow and D12’s school was cancelled for a snow day so she is on her way back to my house from her dads.
Soooo. I downloaded the meet up app. There were some things interesting to me. Others that were, were on my custody days. But I joined a lot of groups. So, I’ll keep my eyes out. I really do have limited time for organized events. But I’m going to try.
I’ve been seeing so much of FF and his woman on social media. Because his sister is madly in love with this guy who has come into her and her sons life like a night in shining armor. They all are doing one big happy family things. And she posts about how wonderful her man is nearly every day. I’ve realized social media is not healthy for me right now. I just keep seeing these big happy families and gathering and love and all that Jazz. And you can’t help but feel worse when sitting on your couch alone. Wondering why I can’t have that. And thinking about how close I came. I think I need a little hiatus. It would be good for me.
And my ex entered my dreams yet again. I mean it’s been years. And I hate the way he is entering. This time he asked me to marry him again because I was always the one for him. I accepted! And I couldn’t tell my friends because they would beat the sense into me. I have no desire for this man. But I think there is a small part of me who wants to hear he made a mistake. Not that I even want him back at all ever. I think my ego is just bruised lately .
How’s that for some raw honesty?
Doing everything I can to protect my mental health.
