Had a positive GAL experience on Saturday. At the gig I didn't know anyone (new area, new group). However I recognised one person who is actually the husband of an old school friend of W's. I also knew him vaguely from a few years ago. He said "Sorry to hear about you and W". I didn't really go into any detail, then he said "These things can happen." Then we didn't talk about my R at all. We just talked. I think I came across as positive and confident and was telling him about my self-publishing work etc and he was really interested in that. We had a long conversation about tax too lol!
Dan, this is really great! I know you've struggled in the past with asserting yourself like this, so well done! This is exactly how you bounce back and find yourself again, and the kind of stuff that can make you attractive to your W again as well (and to others). Keep it up!
I agree with the advice you got on your responses to W, and the abbreviated version you posted for comment. Not cold or distant, but not warm and fuzzy either. Try to always strike a balance like that. Like Steve said, treat interactions like business transactions.
EDIT- my thoughts on the light fixture, sometimes something small like that has a big impact on potential buyers, so your W may have a point. I have a cool light fixture in my entryway that looks like a vine wrapping around a blown glass bowl. It strikes quite a first impression versus the cheap brass junk fixture that was there when I bought the house. If I took that down and put a cheap one back like was there before, I could definitely see it turning some buyers off. So unless you have some personal attachment to it I would tell your W she has a good point and that you'll leave it there. If you do have some attachment to it then try to find an equally appealing replacement and tell your W that you're doing that. Even in S and D sometimes it helps to let her know that you still value her opinion, especially if you dismissed her opinions a lot in the M.
