Quotes Found on DivorceBusting (9)

[Ready2Change]

Link

W initiated physical contact with me for the first time since BD. She was trying to get past me in the kitchen with a tray of food and I had my back to her, and she stuck her butt out and knocked my leg as if I were in the way. I turned as she went by. I noticed she had plenty of room to get by without doing that. Then later she wanted a "family" photo of us with kids, which I obliged. My S was between W and I but she put her arm behind S and across to me, with her hand on my back, which she left there just a tiny bit longer than necessary after the picture was taken. At the end of the night, W left first and when saying goodbye tried to hold my gaze longer and her eyes had a flicker to them. So based on these developments the D is definitely off and we are now R'd....!!!!

I'm not looking at these tiny subtle little things from W at 13 months post-BD as having any consequence whatsoever. Whether a temp check, or feeling emotional and nostalgic at the holidays, or jealous due to my interacting with another woman, or an olive branch for friendship, or too much wine, or......, at the end of the day none of it really matters to me. I don't care enough to read the tea leaves or mind-read, I just don't. Why not? Because W would have to radically change some fundamental core parts of her personality in order to get me interested again. Otherwise, why in the world would I ever consider going back for more of the same? No chance, as in zero chance. I have faced the hard truth that I want to be with a woman whose is the opposite of W in many ways. While there is a certain sadness that comes with this realization, there is also an incredible feeling of liberation, and hopefulness and excitement for a future R with an amazing person who has what I'm looking for.

So again the question arises why am I here if I am not trying to DB? What value does my story offer? Is it helping or hurting all those here who so desperately want to R? I know posting here has helped me tremendously, but at what cost to others? I doubt I'll provide the successful R story that so many want to hear, one that will make them feel like maybe it will happen for them too. Most others here won't provide that success story either I'm afraid, but at least they have a DB goal of saving their M and are thus more relatable. I've got a different thing going in my sitch, a different mindset. So sure I wonder what am doing here on a DB forum? I have felt compelled to surf here and post about my sitch, that's all I can say, so here I am again. But I continue to have a lot to think about as I am turning the page to a new and more incredible life.