Hi everyone. I had to take down my first thread because it had way too many details in it. You just don't know who is reading here. I have spend the afternoon reading Bluwave's many threads and the issue of being a doormat comes up over and over vs. detaching/GAL etc. I'd like to hear some feedback on that.
Quick review: Steve and Ready2Change have responded to me before so I think they know who I am. Steve was pretty disgusted with me initially but I was a quick study and earned his approval . For everyone else: my H filed for D a few weeks ago after a 2 year separation. There is no OW and never has been . He became hopeless after a long period of basically a roommate marriage. I made BIG changes and it seems to be working to some extent. He has moved toward me, asking me out for meals several times this past week, showing an interest in what I am doing and basically acting as if nothing ever happened.
Here's what is bugging me. He doesn't act like someone who really wants a divorce. I have read story after story on here and have seen nothing like mine. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to be a doormat but I also want interaction, when it is offered. I also don't want to be strung along for months and then have him toodle on down to the courthouse and do it anyway. My gut tells me that isn't going to happen but who knows?
I don't want to confront him this early in the process and put him on the spot but should I down the road if this continues? I am in full GAL mode, trying to detach my feelings from this but still able to be triggered so I'm not ready to draw the line (yet). At some point I will be but there are a few small obstacles I need to overcome.
I spent a long time reading poster Bluwave's threads and a theme that comes up over and over is let them go, don't be a doormat. I get that, I really do. I think at least on the surface I have let him go. I literally leave him 100% alone. He initiates all contact. Not a single day has passed in MONTHS that I have not heard from him. His tone toward me has changed a lot - much less hostile and more friendly.
I don't know what to think or what to do.
Last edited by Newbie20; 12/02/1912:38 AM. Reason: add info
. For everyone else: my H filed for D a few weeks ago after a 2 year separation. There is no OW and never has been . He became hopeless after a long period of basically a roommate marriage. I made BIG changes and it seems to be working to some extent. He has moved toward me, asking me out for meals several times this past week, showing an interest in what I am doing and basically acting as if nothing ever happened. 