IMO - Talking about characteristics of particular genders can lead to dangerous generalizations. I think it is best to try to understand that all of this is not about us, it is not something that the LBS are going through, regardless of gender.
Here is something I tell myself every single day. It may be useful or it may not be:
At the heart of it, it is the WAS in crisis. Not us. You can call it what you like (MLC, WAS, etc), but the LBS has all of the control here. That is something many of us forget. We choose how we proceed. We can let our emotions take us over, we can tell ourselves stories about how we were mistreated, how we were hurt, how we were wronged, etc.
Or, we can choose to empathize with what our WAS's are going through, and let them sort through their own problems. Give them time, give them space, leave them alone. That's what they want after all, right?
Trying to figure them out is a waste of our time and our resources. It won't change the past, it doesn't do any of us any good to worry about what will happen in the future.
All we have is now. And all we have to do with "now" is work on ourselves.
