Sorry to hear you are struggling. Anxiety has been a major part of my life since I was young, I understand your desperation to get away from it.
Don’t be afraid to explore taking meds for your anxiety/depression. I had to do that during one of my BD’s and it helped me in the short term. I still take a low dose SSRI and I feel it helps keep me a little more balanced and not as susceptible to getting crippled by my anxiety.
The other thing that has really helped with anxiety is the gym. And I don’t mean 30 minutes of lightly walking on a treadmill. You have to crush it in the gym. Put on some angry music in your headphones and go lift until you are exhausted.
Hang in there man. I think it’s safe to assume you were a little traumatized by your graphic dream. Hang in there!
