First off, my ex wife moved back in with us almost two months ago. It would seem her family has sorta dumped her off on me as they all refuse to help her any more than they have. She arrived fresh off a three week binge of alcohol and cocaine. Her sister found her on the side of the street and took her directly to the ER. Five days later she was moving back in with us, and trying to have a fresh start — she said she wanted to reconcile.
She's an alcoholic, no doubt. Within a day of two she started sneaking in bottles of wine or jack whenever I've entrusted her to buy groceries with my debit card. She has also used money I've loaned her for Uber rides to AA sessions to go to bars afterward and comes home sloshed.
One evening after a binge she vandelized my home to the point I had to lock her out of my home to keep her chaos away from our children – she was extremely abusive verbally. I called the police and had her arrested. Flash forward a couple weeks and she's back with us, only this time she's under probation for a year, has a mandatory 30 day inpatient rehab requirement, also required to be assessed for anger management, has more court fines to pay (in addition to the ones she still has for a DUI in another state), and she's not allowed to drink.
You'd think she'd wise up, however if anything, she's been pushing boundaries even further. She's still in communication with OM plus another M who she claims was only helping her with her hotel costs. Add to this, I caught her on several dating sites two nights ago flirting giving out her number to other men. When confronted, she attacked me and once again verabally berated with me while my children were in the other room listening.
This can't continue. She's not making any efforts to reconcile, nor is what she's doing healthy for me or the kids. My youngest S7 even said he wanted it back to the way it used to be when it was just us and mommy was not living with us. It breaks my heart.
So the question is, do I just ignore everything and pretend everything is just fine ala Larry Bilotta style? I mean being non-confrontive, ask no questions, and create as peaceful a surrounding as I can for the kids and I –or– do I just kick her out?
She has no money, no family or friends here, and would likely be homeless, but I am running out of options here.
HELP!!!
Me: 48 WW: 43 OM: 53 met 12/16 to 10/19 M: 18 T: 20 D20 S18 S9 BD 05/22/16 W asked for D 6/20/16 D final 1/9/17
