HOWEVER there is a lot more wrong with your H than just an Avoidant attachment style.
This made me chuckle, thank you for keeping it real. Lol.
I went to a pool party with a group of girlfriends and all our kids yesterday. Two of them work with H. I swear I’m not keeping tabs on him through them; we were friends already, and have gotten closer since H left me. We had a great time swimming with the kids then having cocktails, a cheese platter, and chats afterwards.
My friend told us her husband had just returned early from a two-week bachelor party trip to Japan after the groom-to-be spent the night in a red-light district. His wedding is in a couple of weeks and he has a newborn at home with his fiancée. Friend said her husband was so disgusted that that confronted his cheating friend, punched him in the face, and cancelled the rest of the trip. What a guy!
Inevitably, talk did turn to H. They said their workplace is really dysfunctional and the problems come from the top down. He ignores direct requests from his employees, refuses to address problems, won’t look people in the eye when speaking, doesn’t nurture or train his staff, procrastinates on completing basic tasks, sits in the office all day and only comes onto the shop floor when upper management or sales reps are visiting so he can kiss ass. He is draconic about employees using their phones during work hours but apparently never puts his down. He cracks down on rumours about personal relationships at work and accuses his employees of bullying others (including OW before she quit). He is openly applying for every possible job opportunity to try and escape his current situation. In short - he sounds like an absolutely terrible manager. He always made out that he was the company’s golden boy. Hmm.
The week that H left, I received a promotion to management. The leadership training and education I’ve received in the last six months has definitely contributed to my healing. I only manage a small team, but people management takes a lot of time and effort. I know I’m a good manager. A rising tide lifts all boats, as the saying goes, and I try to apply that to my role.
One friend messaged me after she left to say she was so sorry she hadn’t warned me about the OW when she first started to suspect. I assured her there was nothing to be sorry about and that H is the only one who has anything to apologise for. She said if she had concrete proof she would have exposed them to upper management. I just thanked her. She reassured me that I deserve a much better man and that H will get hit by the karma train at some point.
