I hear ya Jedevast. Peace, quiet, freedom, and satisfaction. I think a lot of this has to do with withdrawal pangs on our side of the life we were accustomed to. To the life we have to reestablish, monetarily, organizational, socially, spiritually, etc. We lose a lot in all of this. The money, the kids, the companionship, the house, the friends, the family members. I really miss that social aspect of it. Ever notice with guys when you start dating someone new, your friends and your family rendezvous slowly over time become virtually nill. You used to hang with them once every couple of weeks, then it got reduced to twice a year because of work, wife, kids, social functions, cousins, in-laws, dinners, vacations. Etc. The irony of all relationships is you are slowly isolated as you make your SO, their friends and their family you're everything and you don't even realize its happening. If you do keep your own independent social network in a R or M and in their perception you spend too much time with them, and not enough with her or her family. You can't win. Danes if you do dambed if you don't. Its solipsistic. And they are never happy. Either way they will use it as an excuse to leave and discard. Its a double standard. I noticed now in hindsight how many times I had my family over or did something with my family, I wouldnt be shamed for it, but resentment would crop up every now and again. I realized that every time I would invite my family over I would have to take it to the yard because someone wanted their DT. TV time. But her friends and her family. Didn't matter if I just came home from work. I would have to and want to entertain.
We thought these people had our backs for life, only to find out we didnt really know them at all, or they changed, or we changed. I find it amazing that so many years ago, im sure they held us in such high regard. "He does this this and that for me." "He makes me feel this this and that." He is my lover, my best friend, he is perfect." Its the old adage of. "I love you, you're perfect, now change, or I will replace you." Then turns into. " IANILWYA, I need space.." What they are really saying is "Im bored, Im tired. I want a new experience, a new life, and I want some new D*ck!"

As far as becoming the person they want you to be. Screw that $hit! I think it's good to work on your tactfulness, people skills, and interactions as a skill set. But if you are going to change for someone else, there better be a dann good reason for it that is beneficial to all. Otherwise change for you. Nobody needs resentment or idealism of a person that is not. Changing for other people rarely sticks because of individuality and free will, People are who they are. If they want to they will change IF THEY want it bad enough. Habits are different from personality characteristics. Don't become the person they want you to be. That's a chameleon, not authentic and not genuine, you lose your identity that way. Just ask my XW... Lol..As far as meeting their unreasonable and never ending expectations. You can't satisfy her. She changes her shoes, her nails, her clothes, her music, and sometimes her mates and her friends by the season. We are on different timetables growth wise, peak, and decline. Its what benefits her. Ask Eve. Paradise of Eden wasn't enough... Lol..So what do they do? They vilify you to justify what they are doing to you. So they can okay the victim with their peers and come our smelling like roses. THEY WILL GIVE YOU SO MUCH $HIT THAT YOU WILL WANT TO DIVORCE THEM. Don't be mad at it, its just nature. Just recognize it for what it is in this day and age. In their minds, you weren't the right one, and they expect you to believe that too. Or you married the wrong one. When the truth is THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE LIKE THAT TO ONE DEGREE OR ANOTHER. Its the ones like KAS99 and Scout and a few others here that understand commitment over passion, and I hope they're situation works out for them.