I do not see any issue w/staying in the same city where the in-laws live. I'm sure the city is big enough that you could stay at one end of it while the in-laws are at the other end. Nothing says you have to stay there the entire time. You could stay there one night, maybe two and then move on to another area w/some activities for the children. If you stay several hours away, now that, to me, looks like you are trying to be difficult and do not really want the visit to take place.
As for my thoughts on what your MIL did, I didn't state, not once, to ignore what she did. I don't know where you got that idea that I would say to ignore what she did, but you shouldn't "assume" as to what I am thinking. I was hoping that you would come up w/solution and then bounce it off of the posters for tweaking and/or suggestions.
Gerda, I have a question I want you to think about it. Why do you have such a difficult time communicating w/family members? You have no problem communicating here, on the Forum, and you give great advice. I'm just trying to understand why the people you communicate with, that are directly involved w/ you IRL, have a difficult time understanding what you are attempting to get across to them and/or they get bent out of shape w/your missives. Do you think you come across too harsh/blunt/tone or you go into lengthy explanations and people don't want to hear those lengthy missives?
I am trying to understand what is going on in the communications arena because it appears that you have some issues communicating w/your h, the MIL and sometimes even in dealing w/the children. Maybe it's time to take a look at some of your previous communication missives and try a different approach as to how you write them in the future. When you can't get through to them one way, try a different approach.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
