Yes it’s the million dollar question around here and it’s called closure. It’s completely normal. It’s probably all those things you mentioned depending on what day of the week.
I have heard different reasons from three different people why my ex wanted a D and guess what none of them are anything I would want to tell my kids someday.
Yes you’re still attached and that’s normal. You have 3 amazing kids, you have history and you love your W. I thought I was detached until I found out my ex is dating someone way below me and it set me back on detachment.
You just have to trust the process. Pursuit does not work. Placating does not work. Strength does not work but it gets you respect.
Here’s the 100% bottom line. She’s either going to change her mind or she won’t but how you choose to live your life is up to you. One way or another if you choose to you will be happy again.
