Divorce and Acceptance Part 4

[Gerda]

A big hug for Pax from Gerda. I too am looking at the past years, holidays and non-holidays, and all the signs I ignored or endured or enabled, all the times I was lonely and alone and not taken care of and thought it was okay to live like that. I am still confused about it. I am not sure if H had as drastic a change as I thought. I mean, I am sure it was drastic, but I am wondering now if he was holding it together all those years we were together and finally couldn't do it anymore, or if what he is now really is the opposite of what he was. I mean, it really was a drastic change, and even my kids refer to the two hims as 'good papa' and 'bad papa' or 'old papa' and 'new papa.'

I guess I am realizing that there were a lot more pretzels than I realized, for a lot more years.

I really recommend two books to you, they are helping me a lot. There are some cheesy or corny parts but it is helping me so much to become aware of my wounds, pre and post H, and to start to heal them. One is called, You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse and the other is called, Whole Again.