Last stages of divorce

[Rita]

Last time we met, we locked eyes and almost kissed. I can't take any chances with that at this point in my life.

Hi, Hamburg. Despite all the changes I am going through, I don't understand what you are writing here or agree with the advice, even DnJ's. I wasn't going to write anything to rain on the parade but I figure it's good to have some opposite views just to find your own clarity in the midst.

It sounds like you are worried about cheating on someone with your own wife. That is really something to think about-- and, as DnJ says, to examine as your feelings versus your beliefs. I mentioned last year when you started dating your current lady that I would be very reluctant to date a man who was so freshly split up from his wife except as something fun that didn't mean anything, and that I would wonder about why a woman would want to get serious with someone at that point in his journey. No disrespect to your lady; I just mean that there is no way you were healed at that point, and what you say here to me is part of that. If I were your GF and knew you wrote that about your W or even felt that way about her a tiny bit, I would never be able to rest easy as your GF or your future wife.

I don't know if your W is in something temporary or permanent but it sounds to me like you are nowhere near healed, and you are so early in this journey that I guess I would ask you -- what if your W were to come out of it next year, and you could see the old W in her eyes? Would you be confident that you made the right choice to move on so quickly? I am not saying this is going to happen, it might never happen-- but I think your answer has to be extremely confident and you can't still be agonizing over what could happen if you were alone wth her, etc. and be in serious relationship with someone else.

No judgement whatsoever, just offering another view to add to the mix, all out of love and care from Gerda.