Thanks - if I do find OW, it's not a dealbreaker to me. He can actually lose his job for adultery (long story) so that may be a reason for him to not admit it. He has been accounted for when he was at home at all times/no phone secrecy/etc. I know his coworkers prodded him on it, too. Most of our friends are joint friends and would have said something. I do genuinely believe him, but I know you never know. While I was blind-sided by this decision, there was at least a catalyst reason, but I think we were about to have a long talk about some stuff regardless. H had a tendency to isolate himself. I can see his phone records (I haven't looked in a while but definitely combed through them when this first happened). He was still openly physically attracted to me, despite how I felt. I think he is now so focused on himself that there isn't room for anyone else - me included.
