Originally Posted by DaB35

I still feel emotionally attached to W in that I think about her still, and miss interacting with her. I am sad she felt the only way out of this was D. I do try to remind myself that she is missing out on me - to have improved myself this much in 6 months is surprising for me, so I just carry on in the knowledge that she's missing out on experiencing this new me.


I understand this. I'm 3 months post BD and just over 2 months since she moved out of the house. 12 years of history went *POOF* in about a month span especially now that we no longer even communicate with one another except business-related items about our S4.

Someone on these forums has this Will Smith quote in their signature and I try to remind myself of it each and every day:
"“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.”

If our WWs truly wanted to be in our lives.. They would be in our lives. As much as it hurts me to think about someone that I was so close to for 12 years suddenly disappearing from my life, that was 100% her decision. Yes I wish I could call her and talk about her day or tell her about mine or text her cat pictures and videos all day like we used to up until 3 months ago -- but the fact of the matter is she walked out of my life and has so far not looked back.

My life's mantra has literally become "Oh well." -- I never thought my marriage could be blown up so quickly completely out of the blue, but the fact of the matter is it was not me that did it. It was her choice to get into an EA/PA with another man and rush this divorce like she has.

So like I said.. If they want to be in our lives again they will say the words "I want to make this marriage work" .. Until then, we just have to consider them gone and move on with our lives to the best of our ability. One day we will both find someone that wants to be in our lives again, and we will look back on these days and appreciate them for how much they made us grow in such a short amount of time.