Thank you to kas99, joejoe1, Thornton, Augusto, AnotherStander, DS9, and everyone else that has responded in the last few weeks. It has truly been a difficult time and I feel I have taken a step back from the precipice. My heart, body, and soul feel so raw. My soul feels like it has been burned badly and anything attempting to touch it causes immense searing hot pain. D13 needs me and I will be there.
Last edited by rooskers; 11/26/1907:45 PM.
1st BD December 26, 2008 PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008
2nd BD May 23, 2019 Daughter confirms EA Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
It has truly been a difficult time and I feel I have taken a step back from the precipice. My heart, body, and soul feel so raw. My soul feels like it has been burned badly and anything attempting to touch it causes immense searing hot pain. D13 needs me and I will be there.
Still with you Roo. Is there a particular thought that gives you these feelings of rawness and burning, or is it the overall magnitude of the situation you've been in? You're getting IC right?
Keep posting and sharing your feelings. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter mate
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
for·give·ness noun the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.
From Wikipedia:
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance (however justified it might be), and with an increased ability to wish the offender well. Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), pardoning (granted for an acknowledged offense by a representative of society, such as a judge), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship).
We all talk about forgiveness in some form on this forum but I want to know what each of you believe forgiveness is. I have been having discussions with my D13 about this and it is a central topic at her catholic school. It seems so many people have differing beliefs on what forgiveness is. I would love to have a great conversation here about it.
Last edited by rooskers; 11/27/1911:08 PM.
1st BD December 26, 2008 PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008
2nd BD May 23, 2019 Daughter confirms EA Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
It's the act of letting go of your feelings regarding negative acts perpetrated on you by another person and ceasing to allow them to affect you any longer. You do it for yourself, not for them. If they come along for the ride too, that's an extra benefit.
Google These: Radical Forgiveness Forgiving the unforgivable
They were extremely helpful to me. My discussions with my kids also included the subject of "true apologies" vs "surface ones". Much easier to forgive someone who expresses they are truly remorseful and shows changes in behavior.
What about the definition do you not find helpful?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
It gets easier to forgive a person once enough time has gone by and/or the person has demonstrated enough remorse / change. It's hard to forgive immediately after something happens. Can't be a bigger person and repeatedly get sh*t on.
I hope for everyone here that today has at least one moment where your heart and mind are at rest.
Quote
Is there a particular thought that gives you these feelings of rawness and burning, or is it the overall magnitude of the situation you've been in? You're getting IC right?
I can't afford both IC for D13 and myself. I think it is the overall magnitude of the situation. In the span of 6 months I have lost my wife, my mom, my stepdad, and half of my friends. The part that hurts is the realization that what I thought I had never really existed. My XW said right after she left that she hadn't really loved me since she started her first affair on me 12 years ago. The understanding that my parents have never really tried to keep me in their lives except when they needed money. It is a lot to take in such a short amount of time.
List of things I am thankful for:
Daughter House Job Couple of close friends This website Health
1st BD December 26, 2008 PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008
2nd BD May 23, 2019 Daughter confirms EA Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
