Saw her briefly as she picked up d6 thus evening. Jealousy rearing its head again, she's looking stunning again and care free. Wishing I could turn back the clock and make some changes, show her how much she meant to me. Be a real husband to her.
These moments of loss and regret come on in waves and really knock my self esteem
Aware the guy she was talking to on the nightclub video is a very close member of her new friendship group. He's very together, up and coming big music star, trendy, cool, down to earth lovable confident guy. Someone I can't possibly compete with. Saw his IG had several comments on it from her, stuff like good to see you the other night at fireworks night babes. And one of him performing and her comment " hot!"
It's all innocuous enough but makes my head wander in places that are unhealthy
Hanging on every minor interaction or text message. Something as minor as a work related thumbs up emoji seems positive. Ridiculous I know.
Venting on here to just get it out.
Back to the meeting with mediator for parenting, this could maybe be a good thing to eliminate some of the rubbish recently, although have to be on my guard that she won't start dictating and using it as a way to just have her way.
Any advice from anyone that's been through mediation?
