I am taking the children to lapland on Saturday for three days. It is a dream vacation my H and I have spoken about many times but we couldn't get the dates to work (because of his job) and more importantly, justify the cost. This year, I just decided to do it. D13 is getting older and soon the magic of christmas will be lost on her. She no longer believes in santa, or fairies, or elves, but she still gets excited about Christmas.
I had invited my H to come with us (he is a christmas nut and it had always been him talking about lapland in the past) but he didn't know if he'd be needed at work. Before anyone asks, it was a no pressure invitation. I simply said I am booking lapland and am paying for myself and the kids. Happy for you to come too, but you'll need to cover your costs.
A couple of thing worth noting.
1. For a long time our 'non-children' related lives were a no go zone. We didn't ask. We didn't tell. We still don't ask. But we do tell. Not the big stuff, little stuff like "I caught up with so and so the other day". The inevitable response from either of us is "Oh, that's nice" followed by an awkward silence but I think we are (in our small ways) trying to let the other in. Testing the waters (not for an R, but friendship maybe).
2. He use to avoid any type of physical contact with me. Like a conceptual 1 meter hoop circled him which, should I step into, would infect him with my terribleness. He would walk the long way around the room, sit as far away from me as possible, do almost anything to avoid me. If I accidentally stepped to close, he would sneer angrily at me. He doesn't do this anymore. He often sits on the stairs to take his shoes off, and I wait until he moves before I walk past (in case my leg actually touches him). I still do this. But the last few times he has looked at me like I'm mad, standing their waiting instead of just walking past. The other day we accidentally touched hands (he was trying to open a stuck drawer and had asked me to help) and instead of the stiffening I was expecting, there was nothing. He didn't note it at all. In fact, if anything I pulled back quickly.
