Google These: Radical Forgiveness Forgiving the unforgivable
They were extremely helpful to me. My discussions with my kids also included the subject of "true apologies" vs "surface ones". Much easier to forgive someone who expresses they are truly remorseful and shows changes in behavior.
What about the definition do you not find helpful?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712