You asked if DBing has ever worked for anyone. I can relate to that question. Back when I first posted I asked the very same question and I received a response from Michele herself. Her response was "...Not everyone rides off into the sunset," but many do.... or something similar to that. I remember that response to this very day. It let me know that, although there is no guarantee, there is a good chance if you allow for it. After that I read here like crazy. I read books (I think I purchased around 10-15)....I still hoped & DB'd like crazy. I realized I had to do it for me. In the end, no matter the outcome, I would know I left no stone unturned.
I must say I was about to give up towards the end for real (and many small moments in between). I read somewhere that you will know when you are ready.
The one thing that she says made the biggest difference is the changes that she saw in me. You may not think she is watching, but she is. My goal became one of luring her back, not pulling her back. I did what I needed to do to make myself a man a woman would want to be proud of having for a husband. I had no idea if it would pay off or not. I continued to hope for the best, but prepared myself for whatever the outcome came to be. For right or for wrong, I guess I wanted her to look at me and realize I was a good man after all, and wonder why she ever left me go. I guess it worked, in the end she decided that she didn't want to lose me after all.
There was a period when I "Let go" and left her to her own. I left the door opened and kept warming the fire so to speak. I had to leave it up to her to come in from the cold. However, I kept making the fire look more and more inviting.
It's sort of like getting a wild animal trained to eat from your hand. It takes patience, patience, patience, and the food sent to lure them closer each time. If you try to approach the animal to MAKE it eat, it will run away from you and it will be more cautious of you in future attempts. If you keep repeating what made the animal run away, it will eventually give up and walk away for good, realizing that you keep repeating what it doesn't care for. You need to built the trust, figure out what works, what doesn't and keep trying till you are satisfied that you've done all you can.
I wish you the best and if things work out, the hard work will all be worth it. I became the success story that I had hoped for. It can happen, but you must work and work hard and give it the chance and believe. No gold, silver or bronze medalist never got there because they didn't believe and strive. However, there are still those that did believe, but still never got a medal. I still doubt that they regret not trying, for if they didn't, there existed not even the remotest chance of success. So if you want to achieve, you need to get a game plan and take baby-steps. One of the simplest goals I set was to simply make my bed every day. Sounds kind of goofy, but there were days when even that seemed to be a challenge. It was a simple thing but it was a start. Something amazing happens when you do that. I began to MAKE myself make the bed whether I felt like it or not. That then lead to other things which caused me to progress from there.
