I don’t want to hijack your thread over here, but I want to speak to what you said.
First, thank you. I think I could have certainly loved more kids. I’ve loved other’s kids and being a “bonus mom” as M’s son likes to call me would have also been a beautiful thing.
My family was always “real” even if it was just me and her. And yes, I had hoped for more than anything to have a partner to raise kids with. Just wasn’t in the cards for me I guess. I held on to hope being in my 20’s when my ex left. That if it wasn’t with my ex it would be with someone else. But it just never happened.
And I’m 6 months away from 40. But the time I met a guy and was at the point of having kids, I would definitely be toooooo old. I’m a high risk pregnancy as it is without being of advanced maternal age.
And the biggest reason why I wouldn’t? I faced the awful reality of my husband walking out on me with an infant. For another woman. And if that happened to me again in my older age, I don’t think I could survive it. Once as a young mom full of energy and hope , and I made it through. I’d lose it if it happened To me again, and now and that would be very unfair to my daughter
So, my dating pool stinks. And now I can’t seem to find even an involved father who thinks the world revolves around him and his kids and his schedule and mine doesn’t matter. I should just work around them as if all I built doesn’t count.
Ideally a divorced man with older kids is best for me. And that means no more being bonus mom. How many more times can I be so fortunate that the children of the guys I have dated loved me and I loved them? Their fathers just didn’t love me as much as they did, lol.
And back to you......you do need to realize if kids are a dealbreaker for a woman how you would truly feel and that you wouldn’t be just doing it for them.
And I also think it so beautiful how you made your stepson your son. You are truly that kids father and it’s a such a gift, going both ways
