W has never voiced wanting to leave or D. But five years ago she couldn't promise me anything about our M. Without dwelling on it in too much detail, stuck is a pretty good description.
On another note, this week we have uncermoniously clicked into our 25th year together. I was convinced we would not have made it to our 20th anniversary. I imagined that by our 25th we'd be in a happily rebuilt M or seperated/D. I was convinced that if could get through the crisis then with time we could make it great again and even envisaged renewing our vows on our 25th anniversary together. As I've said many times before, a lot can happen in a year.................. I'll let ye all know how that works out.
In a few weeks we'll have another Christmas as a family. I won't debat or dwell on the togetherness of it all, but again five years ago I believed I was facing our last one. Regardless of what happens that alone is Worth my struggle as I strongly believe it beneficial to our sons.
I am not writing this to say what an achievement I have done, because I don't look at it like that at all. Probably the opposite is closer. But I wrote these lines to highlight that during this crisis we can be convinced of a certain outcome as inevitable and yet that may not be so. Don't believe or dwell on your worst fears. In time those fears will turn out to be less bad than we imagine even IF they come about.
Best wishes to ye all leading up to the festive season, not forgetting thangsgiving for those stateside.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
