JC, I know this stuff hurts, and it hurts bad!!! But reading your post I don't think your W is doing anything mean or spiteful, she's just moving on. And you've got to let her. It doesn't sound like she's doing anything to put the girls in danger. Is she being a great mom? No. But she's not doing anything that warrants action on your part.
Originally Posted by JC08
Well later in the evening my W's dad calls and ask if I could come help him track a deer, so I did, got that done and he tells me to come over to the house and visit a while. I still talk to her parents daily, she told me when we separated not to cut her parents out, that I meant to much to them.
That's fine, but...
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W walks in with clothes for the girls, I make small talk, how are you, how was Thanksgiving, she answered with one word snaps so I leave, figure I'm intruding on her space or something.
That's not. If your W is at her parent's house, then consider yourself "not welcome" no matter what her parents say. You are indeed intruding on her space. You could have helped him and left without going in the house, or apologized to him and said you don't feel comfortable coming over there when she's there.
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Well found out she was in a huge rush because she took the little two and went to the steak house in my hometown(500 people), and went out to eat with OM and his kids.
This falls under the category of "this hurts to hear but she's not doing anything wrong so I need to suck it up and live with it."
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I mean several people text me and said that they thought it was shitty because she brought the kids
"I appreciate the concern but we're separated and I would rather not hear about her personal activities unless she's putting the kids in harm's way." People love to gossip and stir up s***. Don't be a party to it.
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I ask my oldest one if she's met OM and his kids
Don't ask. I went through this with my kids, one of my daughters finally told me to quit asking because it upset her. I was just curious, but I never considered the fact that it would upset the kids talking about it. I never asked again.
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I'm pissed that she's introducing the OM to my kids, I'm pissed that she's not making them a priority when she has time with them, she has multiple times had them stay the night with grandparents/aunts or had her niece come over and stay so she can go see OM.
Of course you are, you have every right to be. But you don't have any say in the matter. This is your W moving on to a life without you. It's painful, but it's inevitable.
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She'll go from Friday morning dropping them at school to Sunday at 5 without ever talking to them, asking about them, or anything, and that is every single weekend I have them.
You're not going to like it no matter what. If she was constantly calling and texting you'd probably gripe that she doesn't trust you, right? You should be giving her plenty of time and space anyway, so if she's no contact then that's a good thing.
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Plus the fact she's always telling me she wants to be friends, she's not trying to hurt me, she's not trying to shove the OM down my throat, on and on. Really you can't go out to eat somewhere else?
I think you said it's a small town? I'm sure you'd prefer she drive 100 miles away to eat out but it's probably not realistic. Try to learn to accept and deal with these things. I don't think she's intentionally trying to hurt you, like I said this sounds like her moving on to her "dreamy new life" with OM. The best thing you can do is let her do it. Because before long no doubt "the bloom will be off the rose".
