(((NewLIfe))). I get the disbelief... in less than a year, my XH moved in with OW (and her two teenagers), got engaged (before the divorce), bought a house with OW and has got himself into such a financial pickle that he has a hard time affording an $80 item for our D11 that he has been promising her for months. Prior to that he was debt free and we were making $170,000 a year combined. When he comes out of the limerance phase, he is going to hate his life. This after 14 years together... like none of it mattered.
Like your W, my XH has a hard time looking me in the eyes. My guess? Shame. He knows what he did and what that says about him as a person. Those first six months were the worst. I was a wreck. Could not believe this was my life. But I’m moving on... I have no choice... and neither do you. I also realized that I had been living without my XH for the better part of five years (long convoluted story) so it wasn’t a huge adjustment living without him... I just had to let go of the idea of him and of the life I thought we would have together.
Just keep moving forward and spend as little time as possible thinking about your W and her AP. It is hard but with persistence, it gets much, much easier. I barely think of my XH and OW at all and when I do, it is fleeting and it does not impact the rest of my day. You will get there. I promise. Until then...just be the best man and father that you can be and fix the things about yourself that contributed to the demise of your MR so your next R will be that much better.
