I think your H is a narcissist, or at least displays a lot of those characteristics. There seems to be a veneer of a respectable man but this has been exposed and he doesn’t seem to care. Indeed he just seems to care about himself right now. Your comments about the chore list and how he ignored you and S when you were both very sick is, frankly, abnormal. That he is an intelligent man and he still does this is concerning. His disinterested and flippant attitude to your son says it all. That he is doing counseling for his own happiness, the way he treated your step dad etc etc signals a man who simply doesn’t care about anyone except himself. Having a child means you can’t play Xbox, go kart, paint ball etc. that he chose these teenage hobbies over family is in my respectful view abhorrent. I’m not sure what you will find in your heart if you look deeply and objectively, but I think you’ve hinted at the change in feelings about him and who he really is. You mentioned something about a mask before. I thought my XW changed and something came over her but it wasn’t who she really was. Someone told me the other day that this person who she is now is actually who she really is. I dunno.
Yes a parenting plan is non binding. Why not just try a consent order and see what h says. Ask your lawyer about varying a consent order in future when s is older, if warranted. Maybe even look at clauses for review in future with latitude to increase time with h as s gets older. Consent orders can be as flexible as you choose to draft them. You may feel a lot more certain, secure and assured with consent orders. There’ll be fact sheets about both on the family courts website. Your L should advise you about pros and cons of both but make sure they’re aware of all the going’s on with H ok.
I’m too tired to type more but will check in on you tomorrow ok. Cheers DS
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
