Jealousy has kicked in Instagram video from the nightclubs feed posted this morning And there she is, in the middle of the dance floor, laughing and dancing, guy talking in her ear.
Some anxiety around sending email response to her proposals for Xmas, definite fear of conflict and of pushing her further away.
My GF is like this, she's afraid to say things to me on the off chance it might make me angry (this comes from a toxic relationship she was in previously), so she just says nothing. The result is that it's very difficult to communicate with her because everything is very one sided. As the recipient of this kind of treatment, let me assure you that giving a specific response is FAR better than just saying nothing or saying "whatever you want". She may not agree with your plans but she will respect you for at least being informative and specific. Your fear is probably NGS kicking in, but you are doing the right thing!
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Afraid of being accused of being controlling and balancing this with the knowledge she has no respect or love towards me any more.
Just remember she's a WAS, she will say hurtful things that aren't at all true. You are standing up for yourself, that will earn you her respect even if she doesn't act like it. And remember sometimes silence is the best response. If she sends a nastygram about how "controlling" you are, then don't reply. That'll take the wind right out of her sails because a controlling person would engage rather than ignore.
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Her: if that's what the kids want then fine, New year's fine and 15/16th not needed now.
Like R2C said, don't respond to this crap. What the kids want? Give me a break! What the kids want is loving parents living under the same roof as them! If she gave a rat's butt about what the kids want then she wouldn't be pursuing this life of COMPLETE AND TOTAL SELFISHNESS!
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Her: I don't think it's fair I only see them for a few hours on Christmas eve though.
She's seeing them 5 hours 1pm til 6pm.
Don't respond to this either. She's not proposing an alternative, just complaining. Welcome to separation, you don't get everything you want anymore.
Jealousy has kicked in Instagram video from the nightclubs feed posted this morning And there she is, in the middle of the dance floor, laughing and dancing, guy talking in her ear.
Know it's stupid, just triggers a lot of emotions
Some day you'll be detached from her and able to look at stuff like that and think "wow, look at this middle-aged married woman with children behaving like some ridiculous girls-gone-wild college student, how sad and pathetic". Because that is exactly what it is.
Not unusual where we live, huge creative arts/fashion crowd relocated from London, most are 10yrs younger tho, and the ones our age do have kids and aren't out and about.
She's always been on scenes and the last to leave a party.
So, attended d6's parents assembly today. Man is she p#ssed, never had the cold shoulder to that degree before. Made a point of completely avoiding me outside, made sure she sat on other side of the hall.
Zero pleasantries, i said hi and bye , could see the anger in her face.
All smiles for d6 then back to standing 20ft away while waiting for daughter, texting furiously.
Nothing further about Xmas, something's building tho, expect she will get as much advice and support as she can and come back in some way.
Not unusual where we live, huge creative arts/fashion crowd relocated from London, most are 10yrs younger tho, and the ones our age do have kids and aren't out and about.
She's always been on scenes and the last to leave a party.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER.
I don't care what culture or area of the world, etc you live. A middle-age woman married mother acting like a single, teenager without any responsibilities is frowned upon. And there are lots of colloquialisms that describe a woman like that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
